So, I’m off to this vipashchana course on May 21. 10 days of meditation, of being with myself, of getting to know a little more about myself. Yep, 10 days of I, Me, Myself. And hopefully some of these days will be spent in experiencing the tranquility brought by the peace-of-mind-inducing meditation.
How are they going to achieve it? By not allowing me, let alone to talk to anyone, but to even make eye contact with any one of the 700 odd participants! No music, no books, no outside food which obviously means no TV, no mobile, and no movies 🙁
Anyhow, I thought this would be a good time to make a list of the general philosophies of life that I try to live by. Taking stock, just in case I would like to do a ‘before and after’ analysis. So, let’s see…
- Live and let live – I have gradually grown to be a very liberal person. Anything goes as far as other people are concerned – be it a friend who wants to give up her flourishing career in corporate management to pursue her hobby in singing or people having extra-marital affairs. If that’s what makes you happy, so be it.
Of course, the rules are different when it comes to me, depending on the value in question. Yet, I would say I’ve been absolutely successful in letting live when I’ve let my kids do it. - Accept your emotions – Let them be. Don’t tinker with them, don’t try to change them and certainly don’t suppress them. Respect and acknowledge your fear, you affection, your attachment, your despise, your frustration, your irritation. Coming to terms with them is the best way to deal with them. This is the newest addition to the philosophies, so still working on it.
- Have zero expectations – this one is as easily said as it is difficult to do. But, I think, I’ve gradually reached a level where I’ve almost no expectations from my brother, sister, parents, and the best of friends. It’s a nice feeling when nothing they do or don’t do can hurt me. The best side-effect though is that the smallest gesture of love or care brings me pleasure beyond measure. Of course, I’ll be 100% successful when the rule applies 100% to hubby dear 🙂
- Talk it out – Whatever it is I feel towards a person, if the person is important enough, I’ve to let them know – be it something that has upset me, or something that I appreciate – I have to say it in words. Somehow, can’t rely on non-verbal communication to do the needful.
- Don’t get judgmental – I am annoyed when people are judging me, and so try my best to avoid judging other people. It helps me accept people in the proverbial as-they-are way. Of course, I don’t do this to the extent of being naïve and am not blind to how devious people can be. But I keep the negatives in a ‘beware’ compartment of the brain without letting it overwhelm the relationship.
Only issue is I completely shut people off when they get judgmental about me. I just cannot care for these people. This is in contradiction with the ‘have zero expectations’ rule because I’m expecting people to be non-judgmental. This is a cause of concern only because these people are nice otherwise, so I might be losing out on good relationships. Hmmm… - Down with stereotyping – classifying people into categories and sub-categories has always peeved me off – not only those based on nationality, community , religion, caste, color or class but also those based on organizations you belong to – school, university, workplace, self-improvement program you have faith in, etc. The only place where this completely falls apart is sports and more specifically cricket. The sense of belonging takes precedence over calling all Australian players shrewd and rude.
This is my list, might add more if I think of anything else. So, what are the rules you live by?
