There are people you see and you sense an instant connection. You want to know more about them, just like that. Happens to me all the time. Hell, even tweets and blog posts make me want to know the person better. I’m sure this phenomenon is not unique to me.
Another thing that goes hand-in-hand is hesitation in letting the other person know. Of course, this is not in the romantic sense. A recent school reunion happened just in time for me to realize how all of this actually relates to the age-old, now-clichéd adage –
if you love a butterfly , let it go.
if it comes back to you it was always yours.
if not. it never was.
… or something like that.
At the reunion I noticed that a lot of people I wanted to connect with 21 years ago actually wanted to know more about me too. A recap of my relationships is evidence of that too. Recently, I exchanged this conversation with one of my best friends today.
me – girl, you are so approachable, but you seemed so completely in your world when we first met. i could never myself come up and talk to you.
she – get outta here. you were the one who didn’t wanted to be talked to!
But, this is more than wrong interpretation of body language. It’s about timing and I think it’s about not pursuing too hard. The latter is not about ego, it’s more about letting the butterfly fly back to you.
The catch here though is that this can be said only in hindsight. When I first met this friend, wanted to talk to her, but couldn’t make myself to because I thought she was way out of my league, it bothered me. Every time, I thought of her or she was mentioned, I would sense this nagging feeling I’d learnt to ignore. Had I known, that not imposing on her was actually the best for this now super-friendship to bloom, I’d have waited blissfully.And this is true not with just this one, I’ve seen that happen with so many other relationships.
Now the catch over the catch is, it doesn’t always work out this way. But if history is to be believed, for the people I want this to workout with, I have to learn to let go and make my peace with it. Deep breath, let go…
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ps. Yeah, I’m a people’s person and I can’t have enough people who I can connect with and wonder about the world around us. 😀