Will you?

This is the abstract of United States Patent Application: 0070078663:

The purpose of this invention is to provide an improved method of proposing marriage to an individual. The method of proposing to an individual generally comprising the steps of meeting the individual; exchanging names with the individual; dating the individual (not necessary); drafting a government document having a proposal to marry the individual incorporated therein; and showing the government document to the individual. The government document may be a patent application. The patent application may claim the method by which the proposor will make a marriage proposal to the individual. The proposor could then use the method claimed in the patent application to propose to the individual. The patent application could be the actual marriage proposal.

You really should see the patent application. Has interesting stuff like:

[0015] One of the principal objects of the invention is to provide a method by which a proposor’s clever proposal coaxes an individual into marrying the proposor.

[0016] Yet another object of the invention is to provide an entirely unique method for a proposor to propose marriage to an individual.

[0017] Still another object of the invention is to provide a method for proposing marriage to an individual where the proposor can righteously tout the uniqueness of the proposal.

[0018] Yet another object of the invention is to provide a method of proposing marriage to an individual where the method of proposing is at least partially related to the proposor’s future profession.

[0019] Still another object of the invention is to provide a method of proposing to an individual where the method is recorded in a government document for all the world to see.

[0020] These and other objects will be obvious to those skilled in the art.

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