Category: Humor

Doormat which says “Come In” when you enter and “Go Away” when you leave

From Boing Boing

When a man in China refused to sell his house to developers (who want to convert the area to a mall and shopping complex), they simply started the digging around his house. That has apparently not fazed him, and he vows to stick on.

“The villa owner refuses to move, so the real-estate developer has had to dig out all around it to force him to,” says a saleswoman at Weilian Real Estate Sales Company.”He wants 20 million yuan, or he’ll stay till the end of the world.”

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A reporter for The Guardian got a new cell phone and hated it so much that he went on a verbal rampage against the phone in this article. If you ever had a cell phone with an awful mess of a menu, where you could never find anything useful when you wanted it, you will love this article. Even if you love your cellphone, the article is worth reading for the sheer pleasure of seeing the English language used as a battering ram. I am sure the designers of that particular cell phone must have gone into hiding.

When you dial a number, you have a choice of seeing said number in a gigantic, ghastly typeface, or watching it moronically scribbled on parchment by an animated quill. I can’t find an option to see it in small, uniform numbers. The whole thing is the visual equivalent of a moronic clip-art jumble sale poster designed in the dark by a myopic divorcee experiencing a freak biorhythmic high. Worst of all, it seems to have an unmarked omnipresent shortcut to Orange’s internet service, which means that whether you are confused by the menu, or the typeface, or the user- confounding buttons, you are never more than one click away from accidentally plunging into an overpriced galaxy of idiocy, which, rather than politely restricting itself to news headlines and train timetables, thunders “BUFF OR ROUGH? GET VOTING!” and starts hurling cameraphone snaps of “babes and hunks” in their underwear at you, presumably because some pin-brained coven of marketing gonks discovered the average Orange internet user was teenage and incredibly stupid, so they set about mercilessly tailoring all their “content” toward priapic halfwits, thereby assuring no one outside this slim demographic will ever use their gaudy, insulting service ever again.

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