Teacher vs. Science
“Pappa, don’t give me milk today,” Abu announced this morning while getting ready for school.
“Why?”
“Because then I’ll vomit.”
Kids learn random things like these from their friends, and we have to fight very hard to reverse the thought process once they get it stuck in their head. Telling them that am a more reliable source of information than their 7-year old friends is no use. It takes a lot of hard work and constant repetition to convince them otherwise.
“Who told you that?”
“My teacher said that.”
My heart sank. If it is difficult to counter the statements of their friends, it is almost impossible to counter something that the teacher said. Teachers are God. This could mean the end of milk drinking – an absolute necessity in a largely vegetarian household. I knew I had to fight this, but I felt like David taking on Goliath.
Looking for a loophole, I asked for details: “Which teacher? When did she say this? Why?”
“Xxx ma’am said it. Ishita vomited in the bus yesterday. Teacher said it’s because of the milk. It churns and churns and churns in the bus and then we vomit. Even Yyy ma’am said the same thing last year.”
Two of them saying it is even worse.
“Abu, but you don’t vomit when you drink milk, so I think you can continue drinking. Let Ishita stop.”
“I felt like vomiting yesterday. And I had vomited once in Senior KG.”
Senior KG was 2 years ago, and he had vomited because he had an upset stomach. He probably did not even have milk that day.
I was clearly losing. I was thinking of whether it would help to write a letter to the teacher. Or maybe to the principal. Then I decided to try a long shot. I’ve always had good success by quoting “results of research studies” to adults. So I wondered whether an appeal to science and statistics would work in this case.
“Abu, how many times have you had milk in your life?”
“I don’t know”
“See there are 365 days in a year, so there are more than 1000 days in 3 years. So you’ve probably had milk more than a 1000 times. Correct?”
“Yes.”
“So out of 1000 times that you drank milk, you did not vomit 998 times, vomited 1 time, and felt like vomiting 1 time. Right?”
“Yes.”
“So if you drink milk now, which do you think is more likely?”
“What is the meaning of ‘likely’?”
I wasn’t sure how to explain what ‘likely’ means. So I decided to simply rephrase the questions.
“Out of 1000 times that you drank milk, you did not vomit 998 times, vomited 1 time, and felt like vomiting 1 time. So if you drink milk now, which one do you think is more possible.”
This time he understood.
“The first thing is more possible.”
“Right. So I think if you drink milk, you will not vomit.”
“Yes.”
Victory!
“So will you drink milk now?”
“No.”
Damn!
Remember, when you are in a position to crush an opponent, the best thing to do is to concede some small point, something that they can take solace in, something that they can hold on to as a consolation prize. The winners of World War I ignored this important point, totally humiliated Germany, and then paid the price in the form of World War II.
“Ok,” I conceded, “You don’t have to drink milk today. But you will drink from tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
Yes!! I had taken on the invisible “foreign hand” of the teacher and defeated it. Victory never tasted so sweet.
You have to be a parent to understand why this is such a big deal.