abu & rabad

Abu and Rabad’s cousin Pr___ (who is 18) was with us this weekend. She is starting college this week, and she will be staying in a hostel. Abu/Rabad’s friend Sw___ (who is 9 years old) was also with us on Sunday morning, and when we were all together, I asked the kids this question:

“Pr___ is 18 years now and going to stay in a hostel. Do you think she feels like an adult?”

“Yes…,” they said tentatively, not really understanding the question.

“Actually,” I clarified, “I think that Pr___ does not feel like an adult. I think she still feels like a kid. Can you guess why?”

This question made a lot of sense to them. Answers came in quick and fast:

“Because she still has school stuff to do” (I guess engineering college is “school stuff”)

“Because she still does not have her own money.”

“Because she still cannot stay in her own house.”

Pretty impressive, I thought, especially since I hadn’t though of these answers myself.

“Do you want to become adults fast?” I asked

“Yes,” said Sw___. “No,” said Abu. Rabad said “No,” first and then changed her answer to “Yes.”

“Why?”

Sw___ rattled off the answer, “Because I want to do whatever I want, and I want to go whereever I want, and I don’t want any parents bossing me around.”

“You don’t like parents bossing you around?” I asked.

“Of course not,” said Sw___, and then suddenly put two and two together, “Oooh. Pr___ doesn’t feel like an adult because her parents are still bossing her around?”

Pr___ nodded her head tragically in response.

“So, when do you think Pr___ will feel like an adult?”

“When she finishes her college and gets her own house and a job,” again Sw___ had an answer ready.

There was a pause while everybody digested this new thought. Then Abu countered:

“No, after that, you have to get married. And then your husband or wife bosses you around.”

At this point, I had to step away for a few minutes. When I came back, they had apparently had a conference, and Abu told me: “First your parents boss you around. Then you grow up and get married and your husband or wife bosses you around. Then you get children and they give you a headache. After that your grandchildren give you a headache.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

I decided to neither draw any conclusions, nor to prod the children into any conclusions. So there was another pregnant pause.

Then Sw___ spoke: “If you are an adult, you cannot sit on swings, and you cannot jump on the trampoline.”

“You cannot make somersaults,” added Abu, “and you cannot jump around.”

I don’t know whether the kids drew any conclusions at this point; I’m just reporting the facts.

(This post has been read by Abu and verified for accuracy, after a few factual errors were corrected.)