Preventing child sexual abuse – What every Parent should know and do

Posted on by
16

About 15 to 20% of adults report receiving some form of sex abuse as kids. That’s right 15-20%. Which means, if you know 6 kids, there is a high probability that one of them is being, or will be sexually abused. This abuse can range from inappropriate and repeated touching, all the way to penetrative sex. And it is happening all around you. And it affects girls and boys equally (below the age of 12, after which girls are more affected).

But, most of it can very easily be prevented. All you need to do is to have a simple 15 minute chat with your children, once every six months. This chat does not involve talking about sex, does not involve talking about genitals, and is not an uncomfortable chat, and is not scary for children.

Here is a video of what this chat is like:

If you can’t see the video above, go to see it on YouTube

That is Dr. Bhooshan Shukla, a Child Psychiatrist going through one such session.

That’s it. That’s all you need to do.

For more detail on the Hows and the Whys and FAQs, see Dr. Shukla’s blog post on this subject. By the way, you should subscribe to his blog too.

Again, this is important, this is easy. Please do it.

And please spread the word.

This is not a problem that affects only western countries, or only kids in slums, or only kids from broken families. It affects everyone. That’s why you need to do this.

If you don’t have kids, I’m sure you know others who have kids. Please tell them about this.

If you would like such a session to be conducted in your society/school, but are not confident enough to do it on your own, you can contact me, or Dr. Shukla, or meetu (email), and we can figure something out.

Update: from Dr. Shukla on 11 August 2011:

This video is gathering steam. Almost 18,000 vies at the last
count. I am answering about 25 e-mils every day (since last one month!) about abuse and people’s experience when talking to kids. So far views and mails form over 20 countries (all 5 continents!)

I think we have acquired some really good karma here.

Please continue to spread the word. Thanks.

What do Indians on the Internet think of various people

Posted on by
3

Today, while I was catching up with my RSS feeds in google reader (i.e. wasting time on the internet), I saw this cute map: The United States of Autocomplete. At this point, I decided that instead of wasting time reading other peoples’ blogs I would waste time writing my own blog. So I decided to see how some prominent Indian names/phrases fare under Google autocomplete.

All these results have been obtained by typing the first word or words in Google search and noting down what Google suggested as the first suggestion.

Tried some cities. Pune university. Bombay high court. Delhi metro. Chennai rain. Trivandrum airport. So, apparently, people in Pune are studious, in Bombay they are litigative, and in Trivandrum, they’re just trying to get out.

Politicians were more interesting:

  • “Sonia Gandhi biography”. Really? That’s what people find most interesting about her? I was vaguely dissatisfied, so I looked at the remain suggestions, and was further appalled: “Sonia Gandhi hot”, “Sonia Gandhi photos”. Yikes! The internet sure has some weirdos. And the next was “Sonia Gandhi address.” I hope CBI is taking note.
  • Rahul Gandhi girlfrield. Yep! Even after so many years, people are primarily concerned about that. No wonder he fared so badly in Bihar.
  • Atal Bihari Vajpayee poems. Poor guy. After all he’d done, he’s going to be remembered as the PM who used to quote poems in parliament.
  • Suresh Kalmadi Jokes. Not surprised!
  • Sharad Pawar international school. Also Sharad Pawar college of pharmacy. Followed by Sharad Pawar cancer.
  • Raj Thackeray ringtones. Yup, really, that’s the second suggestion. Scary!
  • Shashi Tharoor weds Sunanda Puskhar.

I decided to move on to media:

  • Arnab Goswami is a moron. Ok I cheated a little. The first result is “Arnab Goswami twitter.” But I swear the 4th result is “Arnab Goswami is a moron.”
  • Rajdeep Sardesai salary. (Actually the first three results were “blog”, “twitter”, and “email”, but it’s interesting that so many people are interested in his salary.)
  • Udayan Mukherjee wife. Poor guy. How prominent does a guy have to be before people start taking an interest in him and not his wife?
  • Barkha Dutt Husband. After all the #barkhagate and #radiatapes affairs, this is the top search on Google?!

I was sure Bollywood would generate some interesting ones. So here they are:

  • Deepika Padukone in bikini.
  • Gul Panag hot videos. All her intelligent conversations on twitter haven’t helped.
  • Kajol baby boy. Ouch!
  • For most actors (Aamir Khan, Salman Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Ranbir Kapoor the first three results were “twitter”, or “biography”, or “blog”.)
  • Rakhi Sawant is a man. Obviously this wasn’t the first suggestion, but really, there are people searching for this phrase?!
  • Raju Hirani next. Wow. That, If a majority of the people on the internet are wondering what is your next project, that is a major achievement

You have any interesting ones to add to this list?

(Random FYI: “Navin Kabra” gets “old songs” as a suggested completion.)

Talking to kids about Hinduism

Posted on by
9

There's a brilliant article by Devdutt Pattanaik on Hinduism and children, and is a must read for anybody who's interested in religion and are likely to be discussing this with kids. I think a lot of people end up treating kids as idiots when talking about religion in general, and Hinduism in particular, and consequently I think it is not surprising that kids go away with a very poor impression.

Devdutt gives a very sane and wise take on how best to do this. You should read the whole article, but here are some excerpts to get you interested:

What are some of the things a parent can do to get their child curious about their religion and culture without actually forcing them into learn about it?

By making the rituals fun. Rituals are about doing things. Rituals are choreographed to connect with us symbolically. Making rangoli can be fun. Cooking prasad can be fun. Doing puja – bathing the image, dressing it up, feeding it, singing songs to it – can be fun. The child will notice that the fun is associated with a deep reverence. Then he will question. Often this the point where parents turn rituals into "holy cows" and lose the opportunity to help their children gain an understanding of their cultural world.

My own moment of understanding of this point came when I read in my history books that Lokmanya Tilak pushed the whole 10-day, community Ganesh celebrations concept in Maharashtra as a way for getting people together and strengthening community ties. At that point I suddenly realized the social value of religion, and hence I've always been very supportive of the less stupid rituals and festivals, inspite of the fact that I don't really believe in God.

My other pet peeve about popular Indian religious writing is covered by the next question:

When it comes to Hindu mythology, there are either over-simplified books (geared towards kids) and there are the scholarly tomes. Neither is a good fit for a curious young person who needs something in between they can read independently. What kind of books would you recommend for them ?

My books! I became a writer because I saw this gap. Often the answers are not what the parents expect. The problem is that authors are burdened by wanting to make Hinduism look nice. The measuring scale is that of other religions. As a result writing becomes apologetic and defensive. People are trying but often I find writers have a poor understanding of the subject and so are unable to appreciate the complexities and so end up with awkward prose.

Try explaining the idea of Krishna surrounded by hundreds of milkmaids doing Raas Lila to a child. Are those girls, Krishna's friends? So is it ok for a boy to have many girlfriends? Are those girls his wives? So is it polygamy? Rather than answer such blunt uncomfortable questions, some writers escape into metaphysics – using words like Paramatma and Jivatma which, unless you are a believer, sounds like gobbledygook.

This really makes me want to go and buy Devdutt's books. I've already read his "Myth = Mithya" which I think is a great book. I'm now going to go and check outwhat else he's written.

On a related note, many years ago, meetu and I were browsing in Crossword, and decided to buy the entire set of Amar Chitra Katha comics they had. At that time, we did not have children, so this was sort of an impulse buy. Years later, now that I have children, I'm really glad we did that, because I read Amar Chitra Katha stories to my children at bedtime. And we have lots of fun discussions. From stories of ancient India (Ramayana/Mahabharata), to Shivaji and the Marathas and the Mughals, to the Indian freedom struggle, they are a great source of brilliant stories that kids absolutely love.

So you can imagine how glad I was when I saw this advice from Devdutt:

Do you have any recommendations for daily reading that may help a young person to navigate with greater confidence through their life – specially when the world outside is very dissimilar to the world inside their homes ?

Step 1: Read the Amar Chitra Katha. Step 2: Discuss the stories and don't let the comic be the end. Discussion is the key. Stories are to be told, not read. Step 3: don't reach a conclusion, don't justify, don't apologize, don't defend … just try and understand why the story was told by our ancestors.

Read the whole article.

Posted via email from Navin’s posterous