Yay! This is the place where I can complain. Yes, even about the awful haircut I got. For two years now I’ve been trying to grow my hair longer. Under the instruction of my hair-stylist (feel like calling her a barber in the most derogatory tone possible, because that’s how pissed I am), who I trust trusted, I would go to her every 8 weeks for a trim. And surprise, my hair never grew any longer!

This once I took matters under my control. I promised myself, I’d not go for a “trim” for six months. Meanwhile, I oiled my hair once a week (which my “hair-stylist” had forbidden*), religiously. Someone told me to have flax seeds (which is in general good for your health, supposedly) in various forms. And my hair actually felt healthier. So, there it was, even if it was psychosomatic. And lo and behold, my hair was longer by a good 3-4 inches.

About a week ago, I decided it was time for a teeny-weeny clean-up and shaping of ze hair. She complimented, “your hair has grown so  well!” Showed me the half centimeter she was going to get rid off from the front. And when I got home, I realized she has chopped a good 2-3 inches from the back! I was in tears.

My bad (like all else in life, only I was to blame.) I assumed she was going to cut the same length from the back!

I had a flashback, of my engagement day. I told the lady, I wanted very basic make-up because I hate the cakes they layer on you. No, she wouldn’t listen. And I looked like a white, plastic mannequin. Ugh! I have pictures, you will agree. (And no, I will not post them here even if they can be digitized.)

Doesn’t it matter one bit to these people, what the customer wants? And I paid a bomb too! Double unhappiness. Actually manifold than double, because I’m an above average person, when it comes to “being unhappy when money blows up for something I didn’t want.”

Why do I have no say in how I  look? Besides, it brings up way too many other questions. Is there no concept whatever of ‘customer service’? Should I never ever trust a ‘service provider’? I don’t ask to live in Utopia, but is it too much to expect people to understand I want what I want and not what they want. And I’m not even talking about the broader “let me live the way I want” statement.  Dress-designers, hair-dressers, make-up people, please stop telling me what I want to look like.

This is once when I won’t mind being called a drama-queen.

—

*her logic, which I bought, was that dirt sticks to you hair when it is oily and thus is unhealthy for your hair.

Best of my bonding with abu-rabad happens when we are watching TV together and while doing homework. Let’s forget the existence of homework for the time being. Done? Good.

So, abu and i are watching either cricket or a music reality show he likes, Music Ka Maha Muqqabla, and a sanitary napkin ad comes and goes. And of course -

abu – what’s that ad for?

me (super-composed and surprisingly ready) – all women need to wear a diaper-like thing once a month. this is an ad for that.

abu – oh

Next ad. Since I couldn’t find the video on the net, i’m going to try my best to describe it. No people, it wasn’t a condom ad.

Blank, black screen.

A semi-thick white straight line runs down vertically.

The line takes the shape of a belly towards the bottom, Now the line looks like the outline of a pregnant woman’s belly.

The word “Miss” appears on the left of the line.

The word “Manisha” appears on the right side of the line.

The word “Manisha” is now deleted backwards, letter by letter.

The belly goes flat.

The word “Miss” now is changed to “Missing”.

It’s a public service message for the ‘Save the girl child’ program.

abu – mamma, what that for now?

me (taking a deep breath) – There are many people who want the baby to be a boy when it’s in the mamma’s stomach. So, when they find out it’s a girl, they do something to stop the girl baby from growing and don’t let her be born at all.

abu – oh… (not a man of many words, my boy), then?

me – This is not a good thing, right?

abu – right.

me – so this ad is saying don’t kill the baby Manisha when it’s in the mamma’s tummy. Don’t let her become missing.

abu – oh

i’m wondering whether he understood the concept, and -

abu – why do people like to have only boys?

me – …

don’t really know baby, because i don’t think that way, but maybe because a girl get’s married and has to change her surname. See A mama’s (my brother, abu’s maternal uncle) has the same last name as nana (my dad, abu’s maternal grandfather) but i don’t. And I live far away and am not expected to take care of him, where as A mama is expected to…

I don’t know baby, i really don’t

* * *

Use of a sanitary napkin is something that helps us deal with something nature gave us.

Who do I blame for making the ‘Save the girl child’ message a product?

Why did we create such a situation for ourselves that I have to explain this to my 8-year old child?

* * *

ps. A story from last month.

we get a call, “congratulations you are uncle and aunt to a handsome baby boy!”

we – “thank you, but what? who? when?”

them – “so and so delivered a baby yesterday”

i called the new mommy, “hey, congrats!” Among other pleasantries exchanged asked how here two older daughters were doing. Then -

me – we met just 4 months ago, how come you didn’t mention you were pregnant…Goodness! you didn’t even look pregnant…

she – you know how it is. we don’t know what our decision is going to be, so might as well let you know after everything goes fine.

The intention of this post is not to get anyone in trouble, but this is a first hand story. And i’m so not proud of even knowing this.

Once upon a time, there was a husband and a wife. Let’s, for the sake of convenience, call them Navin and meetu.

And in their “home sweet home” they have a refrigerator with a half-broken door. Yes, the door is “paani ke 15 botlo ke bojh ka maara”. Because, the philosophy of this household (courtesy: man-of-the-house) is – it ain’t a ‘decent’ household if there ain’t no chilled water in the fridge door.

Come the busiest week of meetu’s year, the door and it’s owner have a breakdown – one physical and one emotional.

Navin (on phone) – meetu, meetu SOS! my honey’s door is broken, what are we going to do?

meetu – Chill first (hoping he takes the pun in the right spirit). Yeah, about 6 months ago tech support said “door not available, buy new fridge”

Navin – Come then, we need to replace my darling.

meetu – can we please wait until end of week?

Navin – ONE WEEK!?

(Translation – one-fourth of a month with no cold water!)

meetu – ok, ok cool it! (thoroughly enjoying this by now). we’ll try to go tomorrow morning.

Navin – promise?

meetu – ok, yes.

* * *

Next day, meetu is mourning at the potential of 50 to 80 thousand well-saved rupees going missing in such a hurry.

Nevertheless, Navin and meetu set out for a romantic morning, fridge-hunting.

After a couple of electronic stores, when they see the perfect fridge –

meetu (to salesperson) – So, do you have an exchange offer on any of these things?

Navin (out-of-characteristically interrupts) – No-no, we don’t need an exchange offer.

meetu (thinking, “we don’t need a clumsy cupboard, either”) – uh…

Navin – (good friend) Amit knows someone who can fix the door.

meetu – huh!?

Navin (without batting an eyelash) – It might take him ONE WEEK to come…

*End of story*

* * *

closing credits –

as gracefully as possible, we walked out of the store. the “someone” came in a couple of days later.

my honey’s honey has a door that clings on to it just fine, thanks to some handy duct tape.

if you want to see what more fun happened, become a fan of the refrigerator’s facebook pages, yep plural.

* * *

ps. ok peoples, just because i’ve been ignoring this blog, doesn’t mean you leave your comments on the fb pages,

One of the ongoing blogathon topics is – “What are the challenges that society faces in accepting the concept of alternate sexuality? How can we address them?”

Religion, social norms, the basic need of a species to reproduce – none of these are in favor of alternate sexuality. Calling it “alternate” is alienating it in the first place, isn’t it?

A close friend, B’s sexual orientation has not at all been accepted. In every trip home he is asked to at least “try” to like a girl. This pressure brings with it a sense of alienation – from his own family. Why? Because he refuses to marry. Because he doesn’t want to make another human being miserable. He desperately wants a family, wants to have kids he can call his own. But, B refuses to fool a person into marriage.

It has to be innate conditioning that doesn’t allow his parents to accept that this is not a disease that needs curing. It has to be deep-seated cultural training over generations that B won’t allow himself a partner even though he stays in the west, where homosexuality is better-accepted.

Homosexuality is hardly a new concept. It must have always existed. Then why are we still finding it so difficult to accept? The one main reason religion, social norm are against it, has to be because it hinders the natural process of propagating the human race. The lack of awareness despite the long-standing existence seems to be a purposeful strategy of religion and social norms.

But better late than never. We are a well-informed generation. And if some of us are not, access to information is a few clicks away. Meanwhile, let’s do our bit to accept homosexuals as normal people (because they are, it’s a shame we are having to say it!) -

Let’s start by not pointing fingers at a man who has an effeminate behavior? Of course, not all homosexual men have effeminate behavior and certainly all men with effeminate behavior are not gay. And even if they are, so what?!

Let’s start by not giving our moviemakers the satisfaction of our snickers at their crude jokes on gays. WTF does, “main waisa nahi hoon” (I am not like that) mean?

Let’s start by accepting friends, relatives and soon enough … our children who might have sexual preferences different from ours.

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