In a similar vein, not consciously, but it just so happens that we don’t listen to anything that is vulgar/not appropriate at home. Imagine my surprise when abu, one day, is singing “bhaag, bhaag, d k bose, d k bose, d k bose, bhaag d k bose” (will be translated soon enough in this anecdote). He was singing it so well, with complete lyrics. That “don’t know whether to laugh or to cry” moment because except for that one play on words, the song is pretty cool. And the other kids in the house were laughing their hearts out while asking for an encore whenever abu went “abhi aaayi yaaaa” (listen to clip below to see what I mean).

And this had become one of those routines for about 4-5 days. I couldn’t say don’t sing this song, lest I’d have to explain why. I didn’t want to bring in extra attention to something not worthy of it either. But ha-ha! If only parenting were so rosy to let it slide. The time came.

abu – mamma, A was saying that ‘bhaag bhaag’ is a bad song. D K Bose is a bad word. No na, mamma? It’s just a guy or girl’s name, right?

me (gulp, think, gulp, think, gulp) – well…yes…it is a name…

(gaining better control) see like when you say “ram, ram, ram, ram” too many times, it sounds like “mara, mara, mara, mara, mara” (Who knew this common silly, joke-type thingy would come in handy as a parenting tool!?) similarly, when you say “D K Bose” together too often it becomes a word which has a very bad meaning. So bad that even adults shouldn’t really be saying it. (I wanted to add, “come to think of it,  I don’t think I know why it is bad”, but let that be.)

abu – ok

me … (*phew* that was easy) … I left the room, only to think the song ain’t that bad and the way he sang it, lyrics and all, it was worth encouraging. Here’s hoping I haven’t caused any serious damage to my 9-year-old’s developing brain/IQ/EQ/whatever…

Meanwhile, for your listening pleasure – abu’s version of ‘bhaag bhaag’

abu confirms – mamma, are you vegetarian?

me (confused, he already knows that!) – yeah

abu – you know what? if everyone on this table was a vegetarian, this would be a vegetable!

HA HA HA HA

abu made this one up all by himself.

Now with a humor like that, who would want him to be an engineer, or a doctor or worse a chartered accountant?

Hello world, watch out for your next stand-up comedian!

okay, before i get carried away any more…

“Yes, I have to draw some sea animal. But I can’t draw.”

“Of course you can draw. Let me give you an idea.”

So I showed him a picture of the Manta Ray from a book we had, and I gave him tips on how could draw that; later I gave him ideas on what else he could put in the picture (seaweed, smaller fishes, etc.) He did an OK job.

The next day I asked him if he gave his homework to the teacher.

“Yes. She said it was very nicely drawed.”

“See, I told you you could draw well. Right?”

“Yes. But I don’t want to draw. I think teacher wants me to be an artist.”

“What?”

“Yes,” he said in a pained voice, as if all the woes of the world were on his head, “She is always asking me to draw this, draw that. She wants to make me an artist. I don’t want to be an artist. I want to be a cricketer. I want to be a bowler.”

So now, apparently, they want more creative control. If you remember, the title of the last post was dictated by Abu. Now this whole post has gone up on the insistence of Abu.

“Pappa, this story is too funny. You have to put it up in Abu-Rabad site,” he told me a few days back. Partially because I was busy, and partially because I did not really think the story did belong on the site, I did nothing. So today, he asked me again, “Did you put up the story I told you on the Abu-Rabad site?”.

So, here is the story.

We had all gone to a hill station for a vacation with extended family. Abu and Rabad had gone with their cousins for a walk among the hills. n didi is one of the cousins. When they came back, Abu told me,

“Pappa, a funny thing happened. n didi went into the hills and found some shiny stones. After that, she saw a white thing. She thought that thing is a bag. When she picked it up, it was a diaper! Ha ha.” He is giggling even now as he repeats the story to me.

When Rabad found out about this, she insisted that she wanted to see the “white thing”. No amount of persuasion would dissuade her. She rested only after she had made her cousin go back into the hill, and find the diaper, and had said “Eeww.”

Now Abu wants me to print this so he can send it to his friend TQ. “Because he’ll laugh also.”

me: of course, you have two…the other one is rabad, see…

rabad (in full form – curled brows, the hint of a tear in left eye, and all): i don’t like rabad…

me: well, i think it is sweet

rabad (letting go of all dignity, wailing away): you never give me what i like…

navin: ok, i have one for you – “bollywood” and abu can be “hollywood”

rabad (instantly reducing the decibel level of the room): huh?

me: don’t like that either? how about “melodrama” for you and “drama” for bhaiyya (older brother)?
(you cannot imagine the sinister, sadistic, and completely satisfied grin on my face)

rabad is puzzled.

me: see, you asked for two we gave you four!

aren’t we the bestest parents ever?

no instructions from no one and no one asked her to do it either…i am sure you can sense the pride i feel…

so, abu’s zip was open this afternoon.

me – abu, your zip is open…

abu – hehehe…chain khuli ki main khuli

* * *

p.s. 1 – zips are also called chains (in India), “khuli” means open in hindi

p.s. 2 – “chen kuli ki main kuli” was a chant in a very popular hindi movie from the 80′s, Satte pe Satta

p.s. 3 – i am pretty sure abu was not referring to the chant mentioned above, but was referring to this song from Masti